Fucking Mississippi. That’s right. This gun shit ain’t going nowhere, okay? That’s why there’s so many fat kids in school right now. That’s right. You are in the service industry, okay? I mean, being a cop’s a hard job, man. Every woman here right now is like, “Fuck you, Chris. And if you’re on tambourine, play it right. No! You got to play the tambourine. Then one day you give him a good look, you’re like, “Wait a minute. Trying to get my life together, man. Every one of you, I want you to know every dime you spent tonight is going towards putting little Black girls through private school. Before you leave, just take off all your clothes, stand in a mirror, like⦠“This is what I’m putting on the market.” You might need sit-ups or counseling. I go fucking hard, man. Remember the pussy strike of 2013? I made your dick, too. Chris Rock Total Blackout: The Tamborine Extended Cut (2021). Yo, man. God has been suffering financial difficulties⦠for quite some time. You develop, like, sexual autism. Let me get on top. But before you leave, you better⦠You better make sure you got some options. ‘Cause the housewife got a little time. The judge, the bailiff, the stenographer. It was like⦠whoa. “Rihanna fucked Eddie Griffin. You’re lucky I’m trying to re-finance.”. Just some peace, motherfucker. That was a tense negotiation. What the fuck? I wasn’t talking about me.”. I couldn’t even tell what year it was. Fuck her.”, Oh, man. You know? Chris Rock Total Blackout: The Tamborine Extended ⦠Dude, I was not, like, a good husband. I try to be good, but I’m such a piece of shit. With 3OH!3, Big Freedia, Dorian Electra, and 100 gecsâ Dylan Brady, so what if itâs over the top? Goddamn!”, It’s all good, man. Remember, you used to be able to pick grandmother up at the gate? It’s weird. Chris Rock: Total Blackout review â confessional comic cuts loose Netflix The standup is back with an extended version of his 2018 special Tamborine that better captures the spirit of ⦠I’m sure they’re nice to you. You know? A couple of white people are going, “They don’t want us in here either.” Fuck Whole Foods, I need some Half Foods. People looking like they’d never saw a car before. Sit your asses down. Really funny, Chris. I just love watching the preachers. I’mma work. That’s all you should be doing. Please bear with us.”. Shit. And Rashon brings him a note. TwinsthenewTrend, Loved Their, Eric Andre Goes from Pranking the MTA to Doing Its Announcements. They’ll take him. You know your lines?” “I miss you, Daddy.” “Good. I mean, The View, The Housewives of Atlanta.” And she goes⦠And Michelle Obama looks at me and is like, “I was talking about the country. Who’s gonna figure out global warming? Yo, shit has changed. But, uh⦠A couple⦠Kid Rock or somebody. It’s just a few bad apples.” “It’s just a few bad apples.” “Bad apple”? It’s the most boring thing you will ever do with your kids. Like, to not know if you’re gonna be able to fucking see your kids. Chris Rock Total Blackout: The Tamborine Extended Cut. Shoot me in the head and give me a call.”, So⦠I’m in court⦠Yo, one day I’m in court, and I’m just looking around, and she got three lawyers, I got three lawyers. Yeah, man. But that wasn’t enough. You all think I’m bullshitting. Prices are the new Jim Crow. We just got a few bad apples that like to crash into mountains. What the fuck, man? He sits on that step, that one step down in The Original Room, he sits, and sits and watches Eddie work. “Ooh. True, true, you know. They’re just better at it than guys. You knew he didn’t do dishes. Mistake! “I can’t believe there’s no gas in the car.” “I can’t believe there’s so much mold in the basement.” Shit, I’d eat pussy on 9/11. From William OâNeal to Fred Hampton, these are the real people and stories that make up Shaka Kingâs new movie about Black Panther history. Think about it. I made it. I thought⦔ “You, I thought you was all right. And even some of the people inside the house, a little on the fence.”, We need bullies. âª, ⪠All my cats with open cases Big cars, and no license âª, ⪠All my n*ggas that say pause After they say some fucked up shit âª, ⪠Jigga shit Roc-A-Fella forever, yo âª, Your email address will not be published. Suckers work. But God never finds you at a good time. Bullies are the fertilizer that help good people to grow. That shit is crazy, man. I got Black kids. So, I’m with my daughter, this year she started high school. Let’s start this again.” So, I’m at this party, I see Rihanna. I’m from Bed-motherfucking-Stuy, baby. Let me ride it. When they got together, they actually used to talk. Ladies, that’s right, take care of your man. The extended cut includes never-before-seen jokes, interviews, and BTS footage. I know that shit’s dangerous. I cheated. I know it’s hard being a cop. You dip your hand in lard. They take your shampoo, you get through security, and then they sell shampoo at the gift shop. It’s like, “Okay. A sprinkle’s good, but too much will fuck up the meal. You would think that every couple of months, they’d look at their dead n*gga calendar and go, “Oh, my God. This is such a crazy time.” And I go, “You’ll be aight.” That’s⦠I literally said that. If you’re in a relationship, all you should be doing is fucking and going places. It’s like, you know⦠My man, T.D. Your woman finds out, and now, she’s new. That’s right. Tell the kids the fucking truth! A man is only loved under the condition that he provides something, okay? Look, every day before my kids leave for school, I get them at the door, I’m like, “Lola, Zahra, check this out. We need fucking bullies. Women cheat. What other fantasy things are you gonna take out of my life? What was I thinking? Let me get on top.” I’m laying back, this girl’s bouncing on my dick, I can’t tell if I’m fucking or changing oil. I made her. That’s right. Pre-school is just jail with milk. That’s right. Should’ve been a good deed. If you gonna play tambourine, you play that motherfucker right. I cheated. Brooklyn, where I’m from. I’m talking from hell. We need bullies. How the fuck do you have a school with no bullies? I was on the road and⦠I end up sleeping with three different women. In this place⦠In a place that slaves made. Let me get on top. You have to fuck these motherfuckers. But I didn’t give him five dollars for him, I gave him five dollars for me. “They could be anything they wanna be.” Shut the fuck up. I know I said you gotta punch your Black son in the face, but, honestly, I believe all children should be punched in the face. Chris.Rock.Total.Blackout.The.Tamborine.EXTENDED.2021.1080p.WEBRip.x264-RARBG.mp4 (1.87 GB) RARBG.txt (30 bytes) RARBG_DO_NOT_MIRROR.exe (99 bytes) What is⦠What is going on? I think, in order for you to get a gun in the United States of America, you should have to have a mortgage. “I don’t know what’s gonna happen. So my kids know when they deal with anything white, they gotta think about that shit. 2021 | TV-MA | 1h 37m | Comedies. They’ll fuck her better than you. So you knew she couldn’t cook, but she licked your balls. How many times you been ready to smack the shit out of somebody at work? Women cheat, too. I got my kids. Do you understand, “Nerds rule the world”? Teachers do one half, bullies do the whole other half. Then the judge was like, “Mr. I fucked up, man. No, man, you gotsta fuck, man. [Chris Rock] Yes, I was at the White House. You know, I date some girls my age and some little younger. That’s exactly what happened. Y’all cool. I mean, honestly, I wanna live in a world with real equality. You never see the Devil on TV going, “Hey, this evil ain’t gonna pay for itself.”. They’re only tough when one person is working on it. There ain’t nothing better than a good mortgage. [Jimmy Fallon] Were you at the, uh, White House party? They give you one piña colada⦠and you forgive the worst poverty you’ve ever seen. That’s right. Take care of her or she will leave you. You’re like, “Ah, keep licking. Chris Rock has announced a âremixâ of his 2018 Netflix comedy special, Tamborine.The new version, titled Chris Rock Total Blackout: The Tamborine Extended Cut, ⦠My bad.”, Here’s the thing with the cops, though. Here’s the deal. She came out of the womb like Wolverine. America’s insane, man. I’m trying to go to Whole Foods later. Should be just like Walmart. Itâs not just controversial, itâs also quite terrible. That’s right. I said that to Michelle. I was addicted to porn, and, you know⦠I was 15 minutes late everywhere. Stop it.”. And at that moment, I realized something. Writes “judge” on the back, just in case somebody thinks it’s a n*gga with a cape. Which is odd when you think about it. I’m going past big money to give him little money. Nobody in the whole world gives a fuck about you. If you want pretty flowers, you need a little shit. But it didn’t choke me out. You learn tone. âItâs no wonder Iâve been feeling so stressed out and having panic attacks.â, Jared Leto Says He Never Gave Margot Robbie a Dead Rat. I didn’t listen. Fucking and going places. When Bugs Bunny kissed him. They could be anything they wanna be? Please. That’s right. Whoo! You get desensitized, you know? “I’mma get the left done right now, and in about three weeks, I might get the right done. She’s never the same again. [Chris] Know what I mean? Like, fucking quarter of a mile, like, right around the fucking corner. Trying to find God before God finds me, man. That’s right. [Chris] You know? We got rid of bullies, a real bully showed up, and nobody knew how to handle him. From what we know, the new special will stretch beyond the original 68-minute runtime and will be rebranded as Chris Rock Total Blackout: The Tamborine Extended Cut. Now, by the time you get her, she done had a heart attack. Remember, it used to be fun to fly? You wanna be my girl, be peaceful. Lot of women don’t know how to give the pussy strike. That’s right. That’s right, religious extremists extremely believe in God, and occasionally blow shit up. I dropped out of Boys High, okay? Rock, I need to see pictures of the refrigerator and the food inside to make sure the children have enough to eat.” I’m like⦠“What have you heard about me? If you’re gonna leave, leave right now. I’m a good person. I love watching religion, studying religion. Shit worked out, okay? I’m trying to get my life together, man. Any bullies will be kicked out of school immediately.” And right then, I wanted to take my daughter out the school. You racist brat, stop it.” “Daddy, that man, he’s got antennas. In this extended cut of his 2018 special, Chris Rock takes the stage for a special filled with searing observations on fatherhood, infidelity, and politics. We ever watch the news, it’s always like, they’re always talking about religious extremists. If it helps, fuck my mother. That’s right. It’s like my GED flared up, you know? You can’t get in the gate, Gates.”. Who’s gonna eradicate poverty? Mortgage makes you act right. Kids are fucking mean. So⦠[chuckles] Then the party started, and Quest starts playing music, and it’s amazing. In this extended cut of his 2018 special, Chris Rock takes the stage for a special filled with searing observations on ⦠Then how come you’re a vice principal? ‘Bad apple,’ that almost sounds nice.” I mean, I’ve had a bad apple. Not the white man that’s here tonight. You have to teach them to hate.” That’s what people always say. Yo, man. You think I got a manger, what? But I love religion. First it was, uh, Herbie Hancock and he was amazing, likeâ¦, Then Stevie Wonder kinda snatches the mic from Herbie Hancock, right? One of the problems with the world is we got too many people telling their kids how special they are. What should I put, Cedric the Entertainer?”. You know, I had a attitude. Play it right. Rihanna looked at me like I was one of her aunts. I mean, I’m basically trying to find God before God finds me. A man is only loved under the condition that he provides something. You think kids were nice to Bill Gates in high school? Whatever you need, take it. God makes plenty of mistakes. Shit, I gotta get over there.” “Fucking Eddie Griffin. Fellas, take care of your wife, your girlfriend. What the⦠Are you⦠My daughter, when she was little, was like, “Daddy, that lady, she’s so scary. Not while we’re in the single digits of Black presidents, right? I was married for 16 years in the era of the cell phone, which means⦠my 16 years is actually longer than my parents’ 40. They all live with their fucking mothers. “I believe this is yours. I wasn’t a good husband. Fifty people, sixty people, that many people, whatever, dead. We gotta shoot a white kid quick.” “Which one?” “Ah, the first one you see singing Cardi B.”, That’s right. He’s gonna eat me. You know? Love hard or get the fuck out, okay? My friends are like, “You can’t be under your own name. Whoo! Do you think God meant to make quicksand? I’m not famous from miles away. Yo, check this out. “Hey, Gates, you Charlie Brown-looking motherfucker.”, “Fuck you and your Windows, you gape-toothed motherfucker.”, “I’mma smack the shit out of you, you fucking Gate.”, “Gate, motherfucker. Oh, man. And you’re mad ’cause you can’t hang up a picture of your mother. People will say, “Oh, when we got together, it was so much fun but then problems arose.” No, they didn’t. Y’all take care. Shit, my profile picture on Tinder right now is me, butt naked, holding a microphone⦠and a tambourine. They will shoot your ass, okay? You could have a 12:00 flight and leave your house at 11:30. If you think you can help God out, you don’t believe in God. I’m walking around, looking around today, and I wonder⦠You would think that cops would occasionally shoot a white kid just to make it look good. ‘Cause they used to miss each other. And when somebody does you wrong, just give ’em a kiss. Oh, man. That’s what a fucking relationship used to be. I’m tired of this shit, man. It ain’t never stopping. Oof, What Are We to Do with Siaâs New Movie. But no, n*gga, she left you months ago. I love Pootie Tang, man.”, It’s weird, man. That’s what Whitey do.” “He burn your fucking ass. And he nodded, kinda⦠He was kind of ashamed. You ever give or do something good just hoping God will notice you? Even right now, Michelle Obama is looking at Barack going, “What’s your plans, n*gga? That’s how Trump became president. I thought, “I pay for everything, I can do what I want.” That shit don’t fucking work. ⪠Yeah, is y’all n*ggas finished, yo? Here’s what happens to you. And you’re like, “Please, I’m just trying to get this basement fixed. “You fucking weak bitch. Just a big hunk of racist dirt. I love you. The original âTamborineâ release has a 100% fresh rating among critics on Rotten Tomatoes. Anywayâ¦, [chuckling] Somebody⦠Katie Couric or something. ‘Cause you never know when you might need receipts of love. I hope you doing well. It is so good to be here right now. Like, you can’t choke your woman every night. Justin Covington Believes NYC Needs More DDR. I’m like, “Okay, I gotta find some people as dumb as me.” I gotta find my intelligence, so I’m like, “Okay, where the athletes at?” Right? When you start watching porn, it’s like any porn will do. And what happens when you watch too much porn? And I look and I’m like, “Is that B?” I’ll just say B. I cried. At their birthday party, I gave them vanilla ice cream with glass in it. We live in a country where two people can do the exact same crime, in the exact same place, at the exact same time, and get different sentences. “Daddy. How many times you been ready to quit your job? Every problem you have today, you had when you met. Hamilton won’t last that long. ⪠Jigga, what’s my motherfucking name? My father used to leave for work at 6:30 in the morning, come home at 8:30 at night, and during the day, him and my mother had no contact at all. That’s a lesson you need quick. A lot of people say that he’s the new me, but I’m not finished being me yet, so that shit is⦠That fucks with me⦠His name is Eddie Murphy.” And everybody goes crazy. ‘Cause nobody wants to see a mad tambourine player. Lose your job for three weeks, motherfucker, and you will meet her. Guys, we’re horrible cheats. You take one sip, you’re like, “That baby wasn’t really dead, right? Trying to raise these kids, man. What the fuck is that shit? If you got one of those mortgages, just get out of that shit. You talk about it too long and you will get shot. *Sorry, there was a problem signing you up. Kids are horrible people. Peace makes my dick hard. Nothing like a bad mortgage that you all fucked up. Pussy strike is the most deadly weapon in the female arsenal. That’s right. So⦠I see Charles Barkley, we talk for a minute, right? Shit. I know, billion-dollar industry, just me, right? There’s a lot of guys in here, right now, think they own a house, think it’s their house, too. I have a weird relationship with the cops, man. I’m like, “Where are you going? People are like, “Where you been?” I’ve been busy. We should invite your mother.”, Shit. It’s like, “Wow, look at this whole⦠town, just here.” I’m looking at all these people and realize, everybody in this room is far more educated than me, everybody. You got to whoop that ass. Where you’re like a meth addict. You gotta fuck ’em! Soon as you leave the house, you get a fucking beep, you get a text, you get a FaceTime, you get a fucking Snapchat, you get some kind of fucking communication. Like, I got a million-dollar house with no beds?” Okay. To do things, to go places, to buy shit. And they got all this security, they take your shoes, they take your shampoo. The housewife is a bad motherfucker. That shit’s a job. Stop telling your kids that they’re special. Chris Rock Total Blackout: The Tamborine Extended Cut 2021 TV-MA 1h 37m Stand-Up Comedy In this extended cut of his 2018 special, Chris Rock takes the stage for a special filled with searing observations on fatherhood, infidelity and politics. I don’t know what Oates does. If you got a mortgage that’s like that, then your God has shined His light on you. That’s right. That’s right. But Hall never had a hit record without him. So I had to go with her to a freshman orientation. They just fuck and leave. Uh, you know, taking care of my kids, man. And at one point, it’s me and Michelle Obama just talking. Women, children and dogs are loved unconditionally. You play it with your ass, like, “Tambourine, motherfucker, tambourine.”, “A tambourine, motherfucker, tambourine.”.
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